A new adventure awaits you as you begin middle school. You’ll meet a lot of girls and make new friends. Maybe you have your eye on someone and would like to make her your girlfriend. Before you know it, she’ll realize how special you are, too. Whether it’s the beginning of a great romance or a great friendship, you’ll definitely stand out among your peers.
Step One: Get Noticed
It is impossible to get the girl if she is unaware of your existence. If you’re deliberate and creative, she’ll notice you before you know it.
When trying to get a girlfriend, you should be yourself. You will be hurt if you lie to her about who you are if you are dishonest about who you are. You don’t want a girl who doesn’t like the real you, do you?
- Keep doing the things you love. Don’t pretend to play a sport just because the girl likes jocks if you aren’t into sports.
- Be true to your morals and beliefs. To attract the attention of another person, don’t change your personal beliefs.
You won’t be respected if you completely change who you are to get a girlfriend. It may appear that you are insincere. Furthermore, staying in your comfort zone will help you avoid those awkward situations where your foot gets stuck so far in your mouth that you can’t get it out.
Get to Know Her
Getting to know a girl is essential to getting her attention. Your understanding of her and your ability to see her inner self will naturally make her more attracted to you.
- Ask her about her hobbies.
- Take the time to listen to what she has to say. Don’t just nod your head and think about what snack you’ll have when you get home from school. Make a comment or ask a question where you can to contribute to the conversation.
- Find out about her family. She can be better understood if you know whether she has siblings, lives with her parents, or has a large extended family.
- Get to know her friends.
- Find out what her favorite food is, what color she prefers, etc. Don’t ask about all these things at once, of course. You might seem like a stalker if you don’t get to know her slowly.
Dress to Impress
Don’t be afraid to look a little better than you normally would. You shouldn’t spend a lot of money on a new wardrobe or wear clothing you wouldn’t normally wear. Simply put, it means:
- Ensure that all clothing is clean and free of tears and rips.
- Instead of your faded favorites, wear clothes that are newer and brighter.
- Make sure you give your hair some extra attention.
- Make sure you are clean and smelling good. It’s easy to get sidetracked, especially if you play a sport and suddenly see her after the big game. You’ll make a better impression if you take a quick shower in the locker room.
- Get acne under control by consulting a dermatologist. It is important to feel and look confident even though most adolescents outgrow acne.
- Cologne shouldn’t be used in the bath. When you walk up in a cloud of fragrance, nobody wants to choke. Some people are sensitive to colognes, which may make the girl nauseated when you’re around. You don’t want that!
Capture Her Attention
It’s time to get her attention now. You want her to notice you, but you don’t want to be annoying.
- You should find a balance between getting to know her and not ignoring your friends. Whenever you see her in the hallway, take a minute to say hello, but then run and catch up with your friends. At the school assembly, sit with her, but at the big game, sit with your friends.
- If you see her at a party or school event, smile and say hello. Don’t be afraid to talk to her. Have some questions in mind you’d like to ask her, like how her baby brother is or if the cheer squad is ready for their first competition.
Step Two: Show Her You Care
You may not be considered boyfriend material right away even if she notices you. If you want her to consider you as a possible boyfriend, you need to show her that you care about her.
When you see her for the first time, try to compliment her. If you keep your compliments reasonable and sincere, you won’t seem cheesy.
- What makes her appealing to you? Does she laugh a lot? “I love your laugh,” tell her.
- Is she looking nice today? If you don’t want to come across too strong at this point, you might want to save words like “beautiful” for when you are actually dating her.
- A girl doesn’t want a boyfriend who only likes her because she is pretty or popular. Compliment her on things like her personality and accomplishments as well.
The Nice Guy Always Wins
Real life girls prefer a guy who treats them nicely, not the bad boy they see in movies. Here are some things to keep in mind:
- How would you want her boyfriend to treat your sister if you had one?
- Don’t forget to use your manners. Say “please” and “thank you” when you meet her parents and shake their hands.
- Close your mouth while chewing. It is easy to get into the habit of eating fast and not paying attention to whether your mouth is closed, but no girl wants to see a half-chewed hamburger in her mouth.
- The girls like it when you hold the door for them, so let her go into the classroom or school ahead of you.
- Try to help others and don’t talk about them. It is generally believed that girls prefer to date a guy who is known as being nice to everyone.
Doing things with a sincere heart is the key. You will attract a quality girl who is also kind and nice if you develop the spirit of a kind and nice person.
Body Language Is Important
Make sure you pay attention to her body language. It can give you an idea of whether she is becoming more than just a friend to you. There are several signs that you might be more than just a friend to her:
- You can see her leaning towards you as you speak.
- A smile spreads across her face.
- When she looks at you, she holds eye contact with you.
- It doesn’t matter how cheesy your jokes are, she laughs at them.
- When she talks to you, she may touch your arm or shoulder.
Obviously, these are also signs of friendship, but they do show that she likes you at least, and that is a good start.
Make Her Feel Special
You’ve talked to her in class and gotten to know her friends. Now is the time to show her your interest in her and make her feel special.
- She needs your help. Make sure she has her books with her when she goes to class. Make sure she is prepared for the big test by offering to help her study. When she struggles with the combination, open her locker.
- Just text her to say you’re thinking of her and ask for her phone number.
- Bring her favorite candy bar to school.
- Ask her for help with something. Is she good at English while you aren’t? Since she’s so good at English, ask her if she can help you study.
- Look into her eyes and at her face. Make sure you don’t let your eyes wander or she’ll think you’re only interested in physical things.
- Let her know you enjoyed talking to her or that you were glad to see her.
- After class or another event, linger for a moment longer than you need to let her know you’re reluctant to leave her.
Step 3: Ask for the Date
In middle school, many boys wonder how to ask a girl out. When you’ve grabbed her attention and she knows you’re interested, it’s time to ask her out. A date can be attending the school dance together, hanging out with friends, or hosting a family cookout.
Figure Out if She Likes You
It’s pretty nerve-wracking for guys to ask a girl out. If she says no? If she laughs? If her friends laugh, too? You need to figure out if she likes you. Move forward without giving it too much thought if she seems to. The worst thing that can happen is that she says no. You’ll still be friends. You don’t have much to lose when you look at it that way.
- Body language is key.
- She seeks you out?
- She sits by you in class?
- Is she interested in your likes and dislikes? What about your family, interests, pets?
You can go to the age-old fallback and ask your friend’s friend what she thinks of you. This is how the conversation goes. “Hey, Mary, what does Sarah think about my friend Johnny?” The answer will tell you a lot, because Sarah will have told Mary what she thinks. Also, Mary will let Sarah know that your friend asked and this can prepare her for an outing.
Ask the Right Way
You don’t want to make her uncomfortable when you ask her out after all this work. Keep it casual, but not too casual, otherwise you’ll get thrown out.
- Decide when and where to ask her out. Knowing her parents, you should already know what they will allow her to do. Having a group date, hanging out at your house or playing a game is fun.
- Schedule her. Get her band’s practice and competition schedule and make sure she is available on the day you’re asking her out.
- Whenever she is alone and not surrounded by friends, approach her. Some girls feel uncomfortable when asked in front of others.
- In person. Don’t text or message. Show her you’re braver and different. It’s scary, but you can do it. Say the words slowly.
Even if she says no, your life will continue, and you will find another girl one day.
What to Say
It should be easy. You like her and think she’s special. You know what you want her to do, when and where. All you need to do is ask. Try:
- The two of us have been talking for a while, and I think you know how much I like you. I was wondering if you could go to the movies with me next Wednesday at 6:30 to see XYZ Movie with me.”
- “Sarah, I would love to go with you to the school dance in two weeks.”
- Join me for a cookout this Saturday at two and let’s get to know each other better.
Simple and to the point examples. It’s clear that you’re asking her out on a date, not just to hang out. Think about what works best for your personality, but give her an event, a date, a time and call it a date, so she knows what you’re thinking.
How to React if She Says No
Be prepared that she might say no. When asked on a date, a girl might say no for many reasons:
- Dating isn’t for her.
- Parents don’t allow her to date.
- Another guy is talking to her.
- When you catch her off guard, she is speechless.
- First, she wants to know you.
- You aren’t her boyfriend and may never be.
But don’t give up. Tell her you’ll ask again if she says no. She knows you still like her. She may say yes next time if she didn’t say no because she doesn’t like you that way. If all goes well, she’ll be flattered that you like her and you can remain very good friends.
Step 4: Ask Her to Be Your Girlfriend
In middle school, you should figure out how to make a girl like you, but when you’re ready, it’s time to ask her to be your girlfriend.
Before You Ask
Middle school boys who want a girlfriend should consider some factors. The word “friend” is crucial. Unless you enjoy her company and can see yourself spending time with her, she might not be the right choice for a romantic relationship. Before moving from friendship to dating, get to know her well.
How to Ask a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend
You should be forthright and honest when asking her to be your girlfriend once you’ve gotten to know her. There is always a chance the other person will reject you as a dating partner, but you won’t know until you ask.
- You like her more than a friend.
- Romance. Send her flowers, write her a note, and compliment her.
- You can ask her to be your girlfriend.
Set some ground rules that will make the dating situation more comfortable for you both if the girl says yes. Both of you will be protected from getting hurt and from getting into uncomfortable situations with pressures you might not be ready for.
- Rather than spending a lot of time alone, go out with friends.
- When other people are present, hang out at each other’s homes.
- Don’t flirt with others. As young people, it is easy to lose focus. You don’t want to hurt the other person and damage her self-esteem.
Ask your parents and her parents what guidelines they think should be in place. It’s smart to involve your parents in this discussion since you won’t be able to drive yet.
Tips to Getting a Girlfriend in Middle School
Middle schoolers are not the only ones who struggle with getting a girlfriend. It might be intimidating to talk to her. You might find it difficult to read or understand the body signals she is giving you. Discover some tips and tricks for feeling confident, overcoming shyness, and even flirting.
Learn to Flirt
Middle schoolers find flirting awkward, especially since they aren’t born knowing how. You can become a flirting expert with smiles, casual touches, and eye contact.
Don’t Let Shyness Win
When you can’t talk to your crush, it’s hard to compliment her. Body language is a major part of flirting, so overcoming shyness can be as simple as smiling at her and looking confident. Try getting to know her friends if you have trouble talking to her. Feeling less embarrassed can help you get closer to her.
90 percent of confidence is an act. Despite your insides swirling, keep your head up, make eye contact, and smile, and people will think you’re confident. Breathe deeply and believe in yourself. Pep talks like, “I can do this,” can also help.
You might feel anxious about talking to your crush. Don’t do everything at once. Start small. Working up to a conversation with a small compliment or hello in the hallway. Make sure you don’t get overwhelmed and let your anxiety take over.
Do You Need a Girlfriend in Middle School?
While some argue you don’t need a girlfriend in middle school, most students pair up in seventh and eighth grade. What matters is whether you are ready for a girlfriend, not whether you need one.
- Can you give up time with your buddies for a girl?
- Are you involved in so many school activities that you can’t keep up with your schoolwork? Your grades might suffer if you take time off for a girlfriend.
- When it comes to dating, are you prepared for drama?
- Do you have the emotional capacity to put others’ needs first?
Friends Who Are Girls
Just because most other students are pairing up doesn’t mean you have to. You should wait to have a girlfriend if you aren’t ready. Throughout high school, college, and beyond, you can get to know the opposite sex. Have a girl friend who is also a close friend sometimes. You’ll know when to make her your girlfriend, or some other girl.